Week 4!

Well, we’re back (even if nobody else is). This strike is killing my will to live. The gloating people who don’t own television sets are not helping either, but I’m not going to complain about them because we all know those people are annoying. It’s not a breaking news situation of which you all need to be apprised. So, now that I’m not doing that I don’t really have anything to write about.

Hmm. How about I go through my MythTV recordings and mention stuff that is good that you can seek out while the strike is on.

1.) Wired Science - This is a site for geeks, so you’re probably already watching this show. If not, it’s got Chris Hardwick, of Hard ‘n Phirm fame, talking about chemistry. They do have faux-hipster reporters of every ethnicity (and gender) to interview folks about other stuff too, but really, the show is all about Hardwick.

2.) Trailer Park Boys - Sure, you Canadians are already sick of these guys, but here in the States, and I’m sure other places, haven’t even gotten a chance to enjoy the mixture of swearing and idiocy this show provides. The show peaked somewhere around season 4 (or 5 or 3, depending on who you talk to), but new (to you) episodes of a pretty good show are way better than repeats of boring shows you don’t really like anyways (I’m looking at you Heroes!). Plus, it’s immeasurably better than Corner Gas.

3.) Mad Money - Right now this is the most entertaining show on non-pay cable.

He doesn’t always shout this much, but the other day he was dressed up like a viking and hitting wooden horses with the logos of different companies with a sword. At one point he threw one of the horses against the wall and then hit it until his sword broke, which he then threw as well. He’s the best, and I say that as someone who knows next to nothing about money or investing.

4.) Dexter - Okay, so you probably already know about this show, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be watching it. We’re halfway through season 2, and it’s been great. The budget seems higher, Michael C. Scott is on top of his game, the guy that plays Doakes drops at least one super intense “mother fuckin” an episode, Julie Benz is in it, and she got topless at one point. All this for $27.99 for the first season. Plus, they knew the strike was looming, so all the episodes were shot early and the rest of the season is all ready to go.

Anyways, on to the reason we’re all here!

Monday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Britney Spears, Jim Belushi
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Stupid Pet Tricks, Dr. Phil McGraw, Ryan Adams
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Jackie Chan, Simon Pegg, Just Jack
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Ian McKellen, Jena Malone
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - America Ferrera, Tony Hawk, Datarock

ERECH: Leno opens the week up with a rerun from 2003 - something Stephan and I wanted to see all the shows do during the strike, running episodes from years ago instead of shows from last month - sadly even Leno only keeps it up for a day, then back to shows from October. What an odd mix of uber-talented people all on one stage together it is too - is that before she got with K-fed? And Jim Belushi, or as he is more affectionately known here at LNT, Bizarro David Cross - ME AM HAVE SHOW THAT FUNNY!

…

It’s because Bizarro is the opposite, and… oh nevermind.

STEPHAN: I don’t understand why networks think rerunning a show from two weeks ago is going to get better ratings than running a show from 1996 or something. It’s not like they can’t cherry pick the reruns to make sure we as the viewers get the best episodes possible. Hell, they could even make a theme week out of it. Here’s a week of Dave and Norm Macdonald, for example. Or Conan and Andy’s greatest hits. Actually, I get why they wouldn’t want to show those episodes, they make the new ones look not as funny. There’s just no way to compete with that Andy-sized hole. Remember when Pimpbot 5000 would try to cut Conan because Andy was his bitch? Or the time Pimpbot 10000 showed up with a bigger knife and more jewelry and took Andy away from Pimpbot 5000? *sigh*. That used to be an awesomely weird show.

And I’m not the only one who thinks so:

In fact, while looking for a good picture of Pimpbot to post, I came across this list of some of the moments from the beginning of the show. I dare you to not want to watch those episodes instead of the shows from two months ago.

Tuesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Jessica Alba, D.L. Hughley, Cold War Kids
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jennifer Garner, Ken Burns, Chaka Khan
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Rachel Weisz, Little Big Town
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - John Larroquette, Bianca Kajlich, They Might Be Giants
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Jimmy’s 40th birthday special

STEPHAN: I don’t care about any of those people. Well, TMBG are fine, but I’m not watching fake Craiggers to get there. Although John Larroquette and TMBG? That Ferguson episode might be from 1994. Somehow.

ERECH: Jimmy turned 40? I must have missed that, although I guess it sounds about right, he’s been floating around for a while, and on cable for a few years before that too. He seems to be, kind of how Dave did, getting nicer in his old age - albeit he’s not that old or that much nicer - but a fair bit more so (nicer, and old) than he was when he started the show on ABC a few years back. Back when the show started, his line-up for a night might consist of a drunk dressed like Little Orphan Annie they found wandering Ventura Blvd, someone from an ABC sitcom that nobody watches, and then like Rod Steiger - and then Jimmy would just be a dick to all of them for 40 minutes, it was awesome. Now though, he gets real guests and asks them about their projects like he cares, he hosts the NYE show on ABC, he filled in for Regis more than a few times, and even did some freebie work for Monday Night Football, all to get screwed around by ABC who will more than likely make a stab at either Leno or Conan when one of them leaves NBC in ‘09 anyways! Wake up “Yimmy”, time to stop being such a team player, and time to start being a jerk again - it’s what made you famous! After all, you’re only 40, I don’t want to spend the next 25 years watching you be nice to people, that’s not fun at all. No sir, not one bit.

At least he has Sarah around though, and she seems to be hating everyone just fine right into her 40’s too!

Also, D.L. Hughley, through the magic of reruns, manages to be a guest on 2 shows this week - proving Jack Donaghy’s adage true.

Wednesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Wanda Sykes, Keri Russell, KT Tunstall
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Paris Hilton, Emile Hirsch
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Jason Bateman, Brian Posehn, Plain White T’s
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - James Woods, Ben Lee
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - David Spade, Dave Annable

ERECH: Dave loves Paris Hilton, in a strange way though. I’m not sure if she is the one guest (aside from Richard Simmons, but since when has he counted?) he can be really snarky and old skool Dave to, but who’ll keep coming back because she is too dumb to know they hate her, or what? I don’t get it at all.

What I do get that is that it’s pretty awesome tv, and if the secret signals Stephan receives directly from him each night are any indication, Dave hates that whore as much as the rest of us do.

Probably more.

That’s a nice line-up on The Zone tonight though, Michael Bluth and Brian Potion? Consider yourself Tivoed, celebrities!

STEPHAN: I’m pretty sure Dave hates Paris. In fact, I think that he’s gone so far past hating her that he’s unfailingly polite to her. Even when he didn’t want to talk about her perfume, and of course he didn’t, he instead gave her a shot to make something positive out of her jail experience, and she was too dumb to see what was happening and then Dave just let her hang herself.

Thursday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Patrick Dempsey, Joy Behar, Shooter Jennings
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jerry Seinfeld, Joe Torre
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Benjamin Bratt, Venus Williams
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Dr. Phil McGraw, Kaley Cuoco, Bob Dubac
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Vince Vaughn

STEPHAN: I think this is the Venus Williams appearance where she plays Wii tennis with Conan. That’s always fun. Right? Right?

ERECH: I’ve never much cared for Benjamin Bratt, so much so that I’ll just come right out and say it now - he’ll 9 times out of a 10 be the reason I stop watching something once he’s on the screen - he’s just so boring. Blah. Didn’t he like marry Julia Roberts too? She just really must have hated herself for a long, long time - Lyle Lovett then Bratt - wow, it’s like going to dinner at The Olive Garden on purpose, isn’t it?

That’s right - LNT is taking the controversial anti-Bratt stand - our interns await your hate mail, Brattites!

STEPHAN:Yeah!! Take that, ya douchebag!

Oh, who am I kidding, I didn’t even know who Bratt was until I looked him up. Now I remember him from such movies as that Sandra Bullock one that’s on TBS all the time where she’s in a beauty pageant but additionally is a crimefighter.

ERECH: Also, if the tragedy at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls has taught women (of ALL colors, we’re no racists here at LNT) anything, it’s that trying is overrated - and that pretty much sums up Venus Williams appearance on Conan tonight.

Friday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Robin Williams, Alison Sweeney, Rascal Flatts
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jennifer Connelly, Slash, Nicole Atkins
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Jonah Hill, Timothy Olyphant, Fonzworth Bentley
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - D.L. Hughley, Kaitlin Olson, Hannibal Burress
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Paul Giamatti, Alicia Keys

ERECH: Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip was really quite a crap show, like the writing was pretty goofy, and it’s production values way too high for the kind of show it actually was (vs the kind of show I think it thought it was, or wanted to be), and it was deservedly cancelled. That said, I think NBC could have given it another season or so to get going, because I rather liked the cast, or at least the willingness to cast a bunch of people who shouldn’t be on a show together. Matt Perry, Eric from Billy Madison, Mark McKinney, Dawn Tinsley, and D.L. Hughley, who despite becoming less and less funny as a comedian each year, has still managed to be quite an entertaining and charming guy when taken on his own (talk shows, interviews etc) - also his character on the show was gay too, although that didn’t really deserve mention here.

Anyways, seeing him on Ferguson (who hosts the show even though D.L. tried to get the gig) is pretty horrible tv, and like Jack always says; “Never follow a black man to a second location”.

Oh yeah, and Rob Schneidley is on Kimmel, probably talking about that weird action movie he made with Clive Warren, “Shoot Em ‘Up” - or as I like to call it, “93 more minutes of life I’ll have than everyone else who actually saw it”.

SNAP!

STEPHAN: I really liked Shoot Em Up. That one lady with the boobs (not Rebecca DeMornay). Clive Warren shooting stuff. Purposefully crappy digital effects. Harvey Pekar playing a demented version of his character from Safe Men. What’s not to like? Plus, the message of the film is that we need better gun control in this country, but it’s 93 minutes of ultraviolence to get to that message. I saw it on 9/11 because I’m a brewer and a patriot. Erech is probably dead inside.

ERECH: Probably definitely.

…

And that’s another week gone by here at Late Night Thing - make sure and be back here next week when Stephan and Erech convince you (and hopefully NBC as well) that even though Conan has a better show, getting rid of Leno from that 11:30 slot AND format would be a huge mistake not just for ratings, but for the cause of comedy as well.

THE CAUSE!

Now go enjoy the shows, kids.