Week 7 Day 5!!!

This horrible nightmare finally ends. No, the Writer’s Strike isn’t even close to being resolved, but we’re not going to talk about it every day anymore. It’s been just as excruciating on this side of the screen, trust us. You try coming up with something new every single day about a bunch of “celebrities” you have to google to still not really know who they are. We knew that coming in to the week, but our mole at NBC went into hiding (or is also on strike) and we figured that daily would be just as good. Well, it’s not. We still have to guess what NBC is doing (specifically, we know that generally, the answer is always “Awfulness”), and we don’t get the thing that makes Late Night Thing so great skimmable, the weekly flow of seeing that little talent all lined up in a row. It’s really difficult to ascertain a theme with only one set. It’s like being a prophet, only a useless one like Cassandra. So, enough. Starting next Monday, Late Night Thing is Weekly forever. Or at least until we forget how awful doing this daily was and try it again (but that won’t be for months).

Scroll through to enjoy the end of the era, or at least marvel at what NBC thinks people will watch for free:

Monday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Arsenio Hall, some asshat from an NBC reality show, some crappy band.
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Tracy Morgan, Kat Von D, Dropkick Murphys
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - TBA (ie another asshat from some NBC reality show)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Alec Baldwin, Lena Headey, Spoon
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Rev. Al Sharpton, Rich Eisen, Two Gallants (R 1/3/08)

STEPHAN: CBS just called 30 Rock day. In your face, NBC. I realize this is about Late Night Television (so important, it’s apparently a proper noun), but if you haven’t been watching 30 Rock, I urge you to go get the First Season DVD. It’s the best thing ever. Well, maybe not the best thing ever, but it’s definitely in the top two.

As for the non-30 Rock stuff, Dropkick Murphys are all well and good, but Kat Von D? Seriously? With all the actors and writer’s off work, and only CBS to turn to, this is the best we get? Now, don’t get me wrong, tattoos are great (I’ve been told, I don’t have any, I don’t like needles. Also, I got my face painted like Batman once at a carnival, and that day I got fined for urinating in public. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Body modification is the devil’s playground. Stay away kids.), and ladies with tattoos are often super hot, but who cares? She does tattoos for retards in L.A., big deal. I’d rather listen to that chick that pierces labias down at the strip mall. At least her stories have genital mutilation in them. Also, she has a funny story about a set of magnets.

Bottom line, even though I won’t watch her on television, I would still stick it to her.

See what happens with the dailies? If we had kept this format up for even one more week, my part would have devolved into a list of people I would sleep with, and nobody wants that (or so Erech tells me).

Incidentally, I already write a weekly “A Mouth is a Mouth” list column, but Erech keeps refusing to publish it, so if you want that feature let him know in the comments.

ERECH: Leno bringing us more talk show hosts as guests, Leno still not bringing it. I did catch Kimmel last night, and wish Yimmy had pushed Jay a little more when he asked him about the Leno/Conan switcheroo next year. Jay said he’d be leaving next year, no problems, but when Yimmy asked him what he’d do after that, Leno made a joke implying he’d be moving to ABC. Does his appearance on Kimmel imply a relationship in fact being built with ABC, for a possible move there next year? Could be interesting, and NBC would be RE-TARD-ED to let it happen, but then NBC’s not really known for it’s good programming choices so much, is it? STAY TUNED FOR ALL THE INFO!

Speaking of Kimmel, he’s bringing us a rerun from last week. Oh yay.

CBS has the goods tonight though, Dave with Tracy Morgan slutting for Church Friday, and then Fake-Craiggers has Alec Baldwin AND Spoon. That’s 2 hours of win.

And that’s a wrap folks - one week of guesswork, speculation and pure conjecture stuffed right down your good tv-watching eyehole! Make sure and come back next week for a move back to the old style of LNT, bathtub gin included.

Read Past LNT’s:
Week 7-4
Week 7-3
Week 7-2
Week 7-1
Week 6
Week 5
Week 4
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1