Week 9.

9 weeks of LNT and at least 40 weeks of strike-ravaged television. Here at LNT HQ, we’re turning into Andy Stitzer. We spend our days on useless hobbies because watching reality shows is worse than learning to play Vaughn Williams pieces on our tubas and whatever other useless things that dude did in the movie. The problem is that we don’t end up hanging out with Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd and TV’s MC Hammer whilst at work, so our awful hobbies make us look bad. Also, Katherine Keener is now married so that dream is dead.

Anyways, since the strike is still on, we’ve still got a bunch of TBA’s and less than stellar guests littering the lineups, but we still power through.

Monday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - TBA
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ringo Starr
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Adam Sandler, John Cena, the Subways (R 6/21/06)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Sylvester Stallone, Steve Wiebe, Ayo
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Kathy Griffin, Scott Baio, Velvet Revolver

STEPHAN: The problem with late night television is that we’re forced to know that there’s a new Ringo Starr album. I can barely keep up with the music I like anymore, but I’m totally up to date on terrible, celebrity music releases. It’s a tough road we walk here at Late Night Thing.

ERECH: I’m pretty sure that Yimmy is a rerun, probably from a couple weeks ago too. Not like anyone will notice. You know what’s weird - Jimmy get’s the worst guests on the couch, but then he gets some pretty big bands on the stage - what is that? Not that I’m a VR fan, but they’re a pretty decent arena-filler to then go do the last place show at night*, yeah?? Too bad there isn’t some kind of Freaky Friday button I could push though so Yimmy started having guests who have never intentionally worked with Andy Dick on the couch, or maybe even some day get that Matt Damon back. Stranger things have happened.

Tuesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - TBA
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Sen. John Edwards, Diablo Cody, Josh Ritter
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Sean Hayes, Cheap Trick (R 5/9/06)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Tony Shalhoub, Becki Newton
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - TBA

ERECH: I like John Edwards. I hate Diablo Cody. I like Josh Ritter. Looks like I better make sure my remote has plenty of battery power then, for all the changing I’m going to be doing tonight with Dave.

However, I don’t really care about any of the rest of these shows, Tuesday is a wash. At least there’ll be a new Best Show to listen to instead, yay.

STEPHAN: Conan is rerunning his Chicago trip Tuesday through Friday. If you’re planning on watching any of these episodes, steel yourself for f-tards cheering endlessly. Out of each 44 minute episode at least 10 minutes is just crowd noise. Ugh.

Wednesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - TBA
• The Late Show with David Letterman - The Redwalls
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Dave Chappelle, Common (R 5/10/06)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Carmen Electra
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - TBA

STEPHAN: I really hope the Scotch’s only guest is Carmen Electra. That’s the kind of tranwreck television everyone can get behind. What are the odds she’s giving him a lapdance by the end of the 2nd commercial break, 100%?? Get it done, Worldwide Pants.

ERECH: HEY, maybe one of the TBA’s on Leno tonight can be Michael Bay?! And then the two of them can whine about how the big bad writers are ruining their lives and movies and shows and then get sympathy from all the rest of us boobs for 20 minutes. Oh if only!

Also, that’s a really good episode of Conan. Well, I mean, how could it not be?

Thursday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - TBA
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Super Furry Animals
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - John C. Reilly, Vlasta, John Mayer (R 5/11/06)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Ringo Starr
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - TBA

ERECH: As boring as it may sound, Ringo on fake-Craiggers is actually pretty good talkie. Ringo is just loony enough to be sort of a train-wreck, and Fergies non-formal interview techniques (HE’S SCOTTISH!) make the whole thing actually kind of quaint, and nice. And it sure as hell beats hearing about any adventures from New Christine - eek.

STEPHAN: New Cristine’s dad is worth $3.4 Billion. I will be happy to hear about any of her adventures. For a small fee, of course.

John C. Reilly is great and this is a pretty good episode (except for all that cheering).

Friday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - TBA
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Nathan Lane, Jake Johannsen
• Late Night with Conan O’Brien - Sen. Barack Obama, Wilco (R 5/12/06)
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Mo’Nique
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - TBA

STEPHAN: Aren’t you glad you read this far? If you need to watch anything, set your Tivos to record Dave and head out and do something fun this Friday. Television is failure.

ERECH: Jake Johannsen?! Wow, good for him - old-timers getting the comedy done, yeah? Seriously though, unless someone out there has some story about Jake here being a grade-A jerkwad, I’ve never understood why the guy didn’t get bigger than he did. Funny fellow, good set, not hideous looking, maybe his image is just too boring, corporate-gigish etc. WHO KNOWS.

On the other hand, I’ll never understand how this obnoxious cow got as big as she did (oh snap). fake-Craiggers “line-up” looks like the boob-tube equivalent of a Lily Allen pregnancy, Mo’Nique’s about as much a comedian as I’m a television analyst - extra points to anyone who can tell me why that’s ironic. SERIOUSLY THOUGH, can we get rid of Mrs. Parker already - 15 minutes been well up, yeah?

So let’s end this on a positive note today, in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. - we have a dream too Marty, and it’s that this strike ends soon so we can stop phoning these articles in. Although in fairness, that’s about the quality of the shows lately anyways - so quid pro quo. Time to put the phone down kids and start bringin’ your A, we dare you.

*Possibly not true - also we don’t count Carson, so neither should you.

Read Past LNT’s:
Week 8
Week 7-5
Week 7-4
Week 7-3
Week 7-2
Week 7-1
Week 6
Week 5
Week 4
Week 3
Week 2
Week 1