Year 2 week 15.

We know we should be talking about Fallon, seeing as how it’s his first week and all, but there are more important matters afoot (Though we’ve been behind him since day one, and now that we’ve seen his writing staff, we are officially rooting for him to succeed. In fact, he’s got himself a murder’s row in the writer’s room; a veritable who’s who of who’s funny, plus he’s going to hit the geek button. We know the geek button is a little oversaturated right now, but he’s already found a hook for himself, which is great news. It took the Zone quite awhile to find the Zone, and he even had Andy Richter as his rhythm section. Fallon is hitting all the right notes, although we were kinda hoping for Horatio Sanz as sidekick, we understand the need to distance Fallon the sketch comedian from Fallon the talk show host. This is going to be a good one, guys. Get in on the ground floor! NBC, tonight 12:30E).

Ahem:

We Can Do This Folks! (Now let’s get on to the listings):

Monday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Larry the Cable Guy, Malin Akerman, the Fray
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Katie Couric, U2
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Robert De Niro, Justin Timberlake, Van Morrison
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Paris Hilton, Dee Dee Myers
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Evangeline Lilly, Jason Mesnick, New Kids on the Block
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Melanie Fiona

STEPHAN: The Watchmen media onslaught really picks up some steam tonight as Jay has Malin Akerman on. Instead of talking about that, I’d like to complain about The Brothers Solomon (I’m pretty sure she was in that). That movie is this decade’s Screwed. This was a no-miss comedy cavalcade not willing to be a cavalcade. I don’t care about the plot. I care about funny people being funny. Don’t give me plot and acting and more plot. C’mon! Dave Chappelle, Sarah Silverman and Norm Macdonald at the top of their games? Sign me up. Will Arnett and Will Forte directed by Bob Odenkirk? Absolutely!!! Twice bitten now comedy pals! If Mystery Team isn’t good I’m giving up on comedy movies forever.

ERECH: Apparently people like U2, or we’re supposed to believe they do. I’m not buying it though. They’re like Jamie Lynn Spears for me, the tv keeps telling me she is someone worth paying attention to, but nobody I’ve ever met actually does. U2 was great in the 80’s, I was a young’in then, but not too young to realize that. U2 of today though, 5 nights on Letterman? No thanks.

Katie Couric and Dave oughta be a good match though - prepare for lots of giggling!

Tuesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Bob Newhart, Rachel Maddow, Bettye Lavette
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Felicity Huffman, Artie Lange, U2
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Tina Fey, Jon Bon Jovi, Santigold
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Kristin Davis, Wolfgang Puck
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Charles Gibson, Lil’ Wayne, Robyn
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Charles Hamilton

ERECH: That Fallon guy sure knows how to get our attention. Timberlake into Fey? Hey, if he can get Rachel Dratch on there in the next 2 weeks, he’s gonna get a lifetime pass down here at LNT. I dunno what to expect really from the show enough to make a real decision or recommendation about it, but you’re a fool if you’re not watching this week just because anyways. FOOL I SAYS!

Kristen Davis not only has a sex tape out, but she also likes to talk about boozing it up with Craiggers. Expect the heat to rise tonight then on CBS, or at the very least know that Craig’ll be fapping in his dressing room 5 minutes after the taping of tonight’s episode for sure. (ewww!)

STEPHAN: That Leno lineup seems like a Letterman show. Not that half of Philliam H. Muffman is a bad get, but wouldn’t you rather watch Rachel Maddow talk to Dave than Jay? Oh well, I’m watching Leno tonight because you can’t lose with Bob Newhart. Plus, you don’t have to listen to U2 again. Seriously, nobody who counts like U2.

Wednesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Russell Brand, Gordon Ramsay, Neko Case
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Dr. Phil McGraw, U2
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Cameron Diaz, Billy Crudup, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Archbishop Desmond Tutu
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Bonnie Hunt, Nathan Fillion, Oren Lavie
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Little Boots

STEPHAN: This is a pretty good night all around. Leno’s good (I dare you to not fall in love with Neko Case while she’s singing. When she’s done, you can go your own way, but while she’s vocalizing…), Dave’s going after Dr. Phil, and both Jimmies have very solid lineups. Nathan Fillion and Billy Crudup are both good people and I’d like to see both Cameron Diaz and Bonnie Hunt naked (I’d also like to hear what Bonnie Hunt has to say).

ERECH: Jay has a bunch of people I feel like I almost like, but just can’t quite turn the corner on. Brand is funny on Letterman and was kinda good in that Sarah Marshall movie. Gordon Ramsay throws handfuls of raw meat right into the faces of fat people, and also says the eff words lots. Neko Case lived in the town I grew up in around the same time I did, and also makes purty songs with that Beastialities band too. That’s a lot of good, right? Still, for some reason I just can’t say for sure if I like any of them straight up or not. That’s it then, tonight is the night I make my final decision on all of them, I’ll report back next week with the results.

I… I got nothing on Fergie tonight. I’m ascared to be snarky, but man, that’s not gonna be any good is it? Great, now I’m going to hell. See what I do for you, readers of LNT?

Thursday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Halle Berry, Frank Caliendo, Tom Jones
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jon Stewart, U2
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Donald Trump, Serena Williams, Ludacris
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Holly Hunter, Andrew Bird
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Kate Walsh, Carla Gugino, Raphael Saadiq
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Robert Francis

ERECH: Nobody has a really solid show going tonight, so instead let’s just play play pinball with tonight’s guests, from top to bottom, of who is worth watching. Jon Stewart into Carla Gugino into Donald Trump into Luda or Andrew Bird (depending on your tastes, I’m going with Luda though just so you know). That’ll be the fun stuff, the rest looks like a wash.

And now that I’ve left Stephan nothing to work with, I think my job here today is done!

STEPHAN: Since I have nothing to work with, I’m just going to complain. Why do we continue to let Donald Trump talk? This guy is the worst. He has terrible taste, his business sense is the worst kind of 80s me-first capitalism, and his television shows are incredibly boring. He brings nothing to the table (but a daughter with ridiculous breast implants). Can anyone name a single winner of The Apprentice? That show has been on for EIGHT years! Knock it off, America. We’ve seen enough of these pompous Wall Street clowns who don’t actually know anything. Why do we keep letting the biggest buffoon of them all back in? He sticks his name on things and then covers them with goldleaf and we keep buying it. This is why our economy doesn’t work.

Friday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Christina Ricci, Papa Roach
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jason Segel, Brian Kiley, U2
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Drew Barrymore, Chace Crawford, Mario Batali
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Amy Adams, M. Ward
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Dustin Hoffman, jet pack pilot Eric Scott, Crooked X
• Last Call with Carson Daly - N.A.S.A.

STEPHAN: Remember when Chrisina Ricci was solid gold? She was hot, she could act and let’s not forget that she was making movies that looked good. Then Buffalo ‘66 turned out to be not so good (not her fault), Fear and Loathing tanked, and both Pecker and 200 Cigarettes were wildly disappointing. Now she’s an anorexic making guest appearances on Grey’s Anatomy (a show so stupid, the title is a pun) and getting nothing to do in the inexplicably entertaining Speed Racer (it’s better than both Matrix sequels combined!). Hopefully, she’s still young enough to get it going again. Maybe someone should kidnap her and force her to start eating again (Might I suggest Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub?). Actually, just take her to one of Mario Batali’s restaurants. That guy’s the best, and he’s going to be great on Fallon tonight, guaranteed.

ERECH: Tom Scharpling’s favorite whiskey swilling Sacramentite’s are on Leno tonight. Can I get an “ew boy” then?

Carson has N.A.S.A., who have a new album that has lots of great people on but isn’t actually very good. Kinda like Carson Daly’s show in fact, so it’s a perfect match.

ZING! (and I’m out!)

And that’s another great week of Late Night Thing for the history books.

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