Mini Fallon Review Time:

It’s only been a week so we don’t want to be too harsh, but their are a few odd choices the Fallon team has made. 1) He doesn’t have anyone to play off of yet. Conan was all nerves that first season too, but he could always defer to Andy. He had someone to step up when things got a little rough. Later when Andy left Max took on that job, but Jimmy Fallon doesn’t seem to have anyone. He has ?uestlove just sitting there, but doesn’t even seem to acknowledge him. ?uestlove is funny! Let him help you Jimmy! He can do it. 2) He hasn’t figured out that interviews aren’t about him. Interviewing celebrities isn’t really about interviewing. It’s about letting someone tell an overly rehearsed story written by their publicist. It’s not real but that’s how it goes. That’s the price we get for getting to stare at, say, Malin Ackerman’s exquisite cans (the other part of the price is her not being able to act, but getting paid handsomely to do so). She doesn’t actually have anything interesting to say, but you overlaughing at jokes and running roughshod over her story to tell a boring one of your own doesn’t help. 3) Let’s get some comedy bits going. Fallon has a great staff, who don’t seem to have done anything. Drew Barrymore came out 15 minutes into the show. Conan used to spend 20 minutes goofing around and giving us classic characters like Pimpbot 5000 and the Slipnutz. The writing staff did their bits on air so we got to see them. They became part of the family. Let’s not lose that. Yes, that Hills parody was a start, but we want more. Show us your family, Fallon!

All told, it hasn’t been a terrible start, although forcing us to sit through extra long interviews with Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore didn’t help anything. Jimmy’s still got the nerves, and hasn’t found his voice yet. The ratings have been good though, so NBC should give him enough time to get situated before making any real decisions. At least he gets to be in HD.

Silver lining, Fallon has caused everybody’s bookers to swing into overdrive and we have a genuinely good week this week. Join us as we plow through:

Monday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Demetri Martin, Rocco De Luca & The Burden
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Russell Brand, Jack Hanna
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Amanda Peet, Rose Byrne, Joshua Topolsky
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Jason Segel, Dave Attell
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - The Jonas Brothers, Jimmie Johnson, Darius Rucker
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Daniel Suarez, Jeff Dunham, Razorlight

STEPHAN: CBS is strong tonight. Strong. Dave has that guy with the hair and then Jungle Jack Hanna, a perennial favorite round these parts. Then Fergie can talk nudity with Jason Segel and boozin’ with Dave Attell. That’s a solid set there folks.

ERECH: The fact Leno has that mutant moron Hasselbeck on is pretty clear all the proof I need of his political leanings, but we’ve been down that road plenty times before here at LNT, so let’s just skip all that. Demetri Martin is great though, so tune in at around 12:14am and skip the blonde Nazi chick.

Jimmy1 will probably be a sad panda tonight, since he and that sexy jew split-up again. SAD FACE. Oh well, at least he has the Jonas Bros. on to cheer him up, and I think this image I saw on a toynerd message board the other day pretty much sums up everything that needs to be said about them. (and no, it doesn’t make any sense to me either, which is why it’s so perfect!)

Jimmy2 has Amanda Peet, and I’ve got nothing against her, but she spreads herself a little thin for my tastes. Rose Byrne is up after that, and I’m too lazy to google her so I can pretend to know who she is, but I do know she is pretty. Good enough. And that sums up my feelings on Fallon’s first week. We already covered most of our likes and suggestions in the intro, but I would just like to give an extra shoutout to the Who Cares Hindenburg bit, because that was pretty fun and also, oddly, basically a 30 second rendition of exactly what Late Night Thing really is.

Finally tonight, Carson has a show so bad, I can’t even believe he’s had a show as long as he has. Just wow.

Tuesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Whoopi Goldberg, Elle Fanning, Keyshia Cole
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Stupid Pet Tricks, Paul Rudd
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Emily Blunt, Michael Stipe, Pussycat Dolls
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Rosario Dawson, Gordon Ramsay
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Heidi Klum, Bryan Cranston, Chris Cornell
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Robin Thicke

ERECH: Whoopsie Goldberg following up Hasselbeck from last night on Leno means it must be vapid housewives week in Burbank. Fallon and Carson aren’t really getting it done either, so let’s let Stephan tell you what’s really good.

STEPHAN: CBS is the winner once again. Paul Rudd, Rosario Dawson and Gordon Ramsay? Yes, please. The only problem is that Rosario Dawson’s chest won’t be in HD. Stupid television. We were all supposed to switch over in February, why haven’t all the talkies? Fallon is in HD and he hasn’t even figured out how to interview anyone yet.

Wednesday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Ellen Degeneres, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Raul Malo
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Tom Brokaw, Razorlight
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Russell Brand, Kevin Rose & Alex Albrecht, the Virgins
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Tim Daly, Dr. Kara Cooney
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Jaime Pressly, animal trainer Kirstin McMillan, the Pretenders
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Patton Oswalt, M83

STEPHAN: That Kimmel feels like a rerun. A GREAT rerun. The real question is what happened with Carson? Patton Oswalt into M83 would be a strong episode for any of the real shows. How did this happen? Why am I being strong armed into watching Carson Daly?

ERECH: I almost wonder if Patton lost a bet or something. Carson, really Patton? (in fairness to the Last Call staff, it ain’t their fault their boss is a b-sniffer while they have good taste about things. Sorry Last Call staff.)

Fallon’s not going to be able to reign in Brand tonight, we’re about to see Jimmy2 pull his first L interview (in a sea of not-quite-W’s).

Thursday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Dwayne Johnson, Heather Headley
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Paul Teutul Sr., the Broadway cast of “West Side Story”
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Tracy Morgan, Malin Akerman, Glen Hansard
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Jim Parsons, Sara Bareilles
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - David Hasselhoff, Eliza Dushku, Pendulum
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Ken Jeong, Delta Spirit

ERECH: Dwayne Johnson can try as he might, but he’s always gonna be The Rock to me. And also one of the best SNL hosts of our modern times.

You know you laughed.

STEPHAN: Being a celebrity must be a series of constant disappointments. Eliza Dushku finally has another Joss Whedon show, but the studio stepped in and put the show on Friday night (the death spot) and made sure the first six episodes were as bland and Whedon free as possible. Then to top it off, when she goes on Jimmy, she has to follow David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff! She’s the only hot chick in the country named Eliza! Shouldn’t that be enough to get to the front of the guest line?

Friday:

• The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - Kara Dioguardi, Randy Travis
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Will Ferrell, Cursive
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Jarod Miller, Trace Adkins
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Christina Ricci, Mike Birbiglia
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Kristin Stewart, Dwayne Johnson, the Dream
• Last Call with Carson Daly - TBA

STEPHAN: What is happening this week? Everyone is coming out to play tonight. Dave has Will Ferrell in full-on Bush mode and Fallon has a 12 year with an exotic animal collection. Those two should be okay, but the real race tonight is between the Scot and the Yimmy. Christina Ricci and Birbigs(!!) is nothing to sneeze at, but Yimmy has a powerhouse. Kristin Stewart is high on life and mostly weed and is exactly in Jimmy’s wheelhouse. Then she’s followed by the ever game Dwayne Johnson. Jimmy knows wrestling, or at least Cousin Sal does, and Dwayne is up for anything. This is going to be a great way to end your week. Great!

ERECH: Stephan left me with nothing, so I’ll just bow out gracefully and call this week a wrap! (had I saw Watchmen yet, I’d rant and rave about that, but we’ll get to that next week. I do find it pretty funny that the #1 movie of the weekend has had not A SINGLE PERSON from the cast on any talkies the last few weeks though. Says a lot, huh?)

Says a lot indeed. We here at Late Night Thing don’t like to take shots at people, places or thing for no reason, but know this; that’s the last 55million that Watchmen is going to see. We promise you this. Our estimates were that that movie was either going to do HUGE numbers or AWFUL numbers, but then make almost no money after that. Looks like we’re somewhere in the middle, with 55mil not being anything to sneeze at if you’re a Paul Rudd rom/com, but a 200 million dollar comic extravaganza adapted from easily one of the most well known/regarded comics of all time? Ouch. Word of mouth in our neck of the woods hasn’t been good, despite whatever someone like Ebert might say. This is a movie that may have a long life on DVD, but it’s going to be considered a flop at the box office now and forever more.

And the boys of LNT couldn’t be happier. Here’s a little note to Hollywood, YOU DON’T HAVE TO ADAPT EVERYTHING EVER INTO A MOVIE, YEAH? Books, comics, cartoons, other movies, and commercials (?!?!!) - you know you’re allowed to actually create your own works too, right Hollywoods?

Look, we like banal fap as much as the next peoples (We’ve had Speed Racer on loop down at Murdershow HQ since last year, we like it that much!), but we’re just as much fans of other stuff too. We don’t need adaptations of all our favorite things, almost always done wrong - we actually are ok with liking the things that they are. We can understand someone not wanting to read a 700 page novel and going to see the movie instead, but is reading a comic really that hard?? Trust us, with almost no exceptions the comics are always better, and take up way less of your time to consume too. If you can’t slog through an Iron Man tpb in 20 minutes, then there’s something wrong with you friend.

Teach Hollywoods a lesson, and stop supporting bad movies. We all knew that Watchmen wasn’t going to be that good (and even if it was great, it wasn’t going to be as good as the comic…), so why bother? Spend that money where it counts instead, like supporting free-form radio at its greatest, by pledging to WFMU this week! It’s the second and final week of WFMU’s annual fundraising Marathon and they have $595,000 to go to their goal. Help them raise the next year’s operating expenses by next Sunday, March 15th at Midnight! Make a pledge HERE or by calling 800-989-9368.

LNT - doing our part again, next week it’s back to business though.

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