This is the week!

It’s Conan’s Day everyone. The day we’ve all been waiting for, well, probably since Dave didn’t get the Tonight Show. Sure, at the time we didn’t really expect anything from Conan (even though he wrote the Monorail episode of The Simpsons), but we certainly knew we needed someone who wasn’t Jay Leno. Now, at last, our long national nightmare is over, and it’s finally on. (Yes, we realize nightmare seems like overstatement, but look at this list of notable Jay moments and A.) try to actually remember any of them and B.) figure out what Jay himself actually contributed to any of them.) Of course, there’s every indication that Mr. David “Dave” Letterman is taking this as a challenge and is going to come out loaded for bear. No offense to Conan, but when Dave is on, nobody beats him. Nobody. If he’s trying, he’s the most fascinating person on television. Fortunately for everyone else, he hasn’t had to try much lately, but this might wake him up. We think he probably actually likes Conan, but he hates NBC more than he likes Conan.

So, what do we, the TV audience do? We get strapped in, we get our helmets on, and we fire up our Tivos because competition means we’re all going to be winners. At least in the short term. We genuinely believe Conan and team are funny enough to keep up and we’ve now got a genuine back and forth struggle to enjoy (until Leno comes back in the Fall and messes everything up).

So, this week scroll on down, it’s a murderer’s row of guests from all comers (not really, but there is enough to make up for the lack of good shows this summer) and you’re not gonna want to miss a second of the real action:

Monday:

• The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien - Will Ferrell, Pearl Jam
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Bill Cosby, Helio Castroneves, Melody Gardot
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Anne Hathaway, Will Forte, Jon Favreau, Mario Batali
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Mary Louise Parker, Guillermo del Toro, Tori Amos
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Ben Stiller, Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas, No Doubt
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Army Troops at Fort Irwin

STEPHAN: Up until today, I was sure the two tuners in my Tivo would be plenty. Now I’m looking into adding a tuner card in my HTPC. How am I supposed to watch basketball and record Letterman and Conan all at the same time? This is going to be brutal. Either way, other than Kimmel and Carson, everybody is great tonight. The Tonight Show is going to be amazing, Dave will be licked with fire, and even the follow-up shows will be great. Mary Louise Parker is hot and funny, and Craiggers will have a ball with her. If Fallon was as good an interviewer as the rest of his show has been, tonight might really have been about him. Alas, he’s still terrible at interviewing, so it won’t be. He’s lucky he was smart enough to hire a great writing team and a great band to bail him out until he gets his ess together. Or maybe he’s just lucky Conan went through the same ordeal before him so he had a template to follow.

ERECH: All this time, and I can’t say I’m fully excited. I’m a little disturbed by how quickly the time went from when the Leno/Conan switch was announced (September 27, 2004) to it actually being you know, now. WOW. However, still can’t say I’m excited. Curious, yes. Will definitely watch tonight, and maybe tomorrow, but Dave is bringing so much good stuff to bat this week, and Craiggers too, that I can’t say flat out which one I’m gonna watch at all. CBS is ready to kick Conan’s early lead out from under him, and that’s just fine with me because I like Dave when he has a little fire in his belly. He can finally smell the ratings win upon him, and there’s still a linger of doubt in the air if Conan can even keep The Tonight Show ship sailing smooth.

Ok, I guess I am little excited, when I put it like that. Dave, like another great man Stephan & I love, has a competition in him - he wants no one else to succeed. Go get him, Dave.

Tuesday:

• The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien - Tom Hanks, Green Day
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jack Hanna, John Krasinski
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Steve Martin, Paul Simon, Vanessa Williams
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Denis Leary, Diane Birch
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Danny McBride, Nia Vardalos, Taking Back Sunday
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Harland Williams, Ben Harper & Relentless7

ERECH: Fallon isn’t exactly resting on his laurel (no plural) this week either, it’s a real fight here and I love it. I know people who love Denis Leary and will tune into Craiggers to see that no doubt, and I can’t say I am one of those people, but I also fully understand and support anyone who does. Steven Martin and Paul Simon though is a pretty hefty combo, so I’m gonna be going with Jimmy2 tonight for sure.

STEPHAN: Jungle Jack! Tom Hanks might be super likable, but does he beat Dave and Jungle Jack?

Of course not.

Wednesday:

• The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bradley Cooper, Sheryl Crow
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Jessica Biel, Zach Galifianakis, Steve Earle
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Danny McBride, Sean Riley, Dave Matthews Band
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Jeffrey Tambor, Gabrielle Anwar
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Heather Graham, Lance Krall, Katie Melua
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Jo Koy, Lissy Trullie

STEPHAN: Hey, America’s most talented and hottest billionaire is on Conan tonight. In your face, Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend. I’ll be watching my New Adventures of Old Christine DVDs all day to celebrate. Isn’t it kinda weird that she’s the only person from Seinfeld that’s gone on to do anything that’s not embarrassing? I know Seinfeld himself was on 30 Rock, but that only illustrated how bad an actor he is.

ERECH: Dave into first guest of Fallon into Tambor and Anwar on the Scot for me tonight, sorry Conze. At least you split the odds down here at LNT HQ between Stephan & I - Stephan loves him some billionaire heiresses, yes he do.

Thursday:

• The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien - Gwyneth Paltrow, John Mayer Trio
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Elvis Costello
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Danny McBride, Sean Riley, Dave Matthews Band
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Elizabeth Perkins, Mark Burnett, Bernie Williams
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Heather Graham, Lance Krall, Katie Melua
• Last Call with Carson Daly - TBA

ERECH: Danny McBride is all over the couches this week, and I am just fine with that. Eastbound & Down, while not currently current as we await lovingly for the second season, is still worth talking about. Funny as funny gets, some sports and beer humor, Will Ferrell and Andy Daly show up to play, and scenes like this which makes me giggle like a big dumb baby.

If you’re already watching, LNT salutes you. If not though, why not? Get on the ball kids, and be cool like the rest of us internet peoples. Damnit.

STEPHAN: If that Letterman lineup was from 15 years ago, it would be awful exciting. Instead, I’m watching Kimmel grill Heather Graham about the time she went on Loveline and talked about making a movie with Burt Reynolds and Mark Wahlberg about pornography, and Carolla spent 20 minutes telling her she needed to get a new agent because she was better than that. Then Boogie Nights turned out to be the clear high water mark of her career. Good job Aceman!

Friday:

• The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien - Ryan Seacrest, Chickenfoot
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Paris Hilton, Calvin Borel, Steven Wright
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Bradley Cooper, Denise Richards, Mandy Moore
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Seann William Scott, Henry Cho
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Michael J. Fox, Chuck Wicks, Julianne Hough, Asher Roth
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Matthew McConaughey, Kaley Cuoco, Ida Maria

STEPHAN: That’s quite a lineup for Carson. Or at least it would be if his show hadn’t turned into some kind of weird clip show and this is really just three of the regular episodes stuck together. Anyways, Conan goes out with a whimper, at least on the guest front. I’m sure they’ve got some dynamite sketches and such locked and loaded, but this episode seems done at halftime. Then it’s over to Dave.

ERECH: I think CBS is closing the week out on top tonight, because I have no idea who either Ryan Seacrest or Chickenfoot is, but I know Dave + Paris equals funnies.

What a week - or at least we’re all hoping it is. We’ll have some more substantial commentary next week besides “watch this” or “skip that” once we get a feel for what the new Tonight Show is going to be like. In the meantime… read this:

Late Night Thing is closing down another week of triumphs and tribulations. Jay Leno took the great walk into the sunset of late night television on Friday, pulling in some of the highest ratings his show has ever had - not really sure how to take that but ultimately it’s a good thing for NBC.

Meanwhile, all of America (well, about 10-12 million of us, that is) are anxiously awaiting the return of Conan to the field, to see what his new show is going to be like - although expectations are high. So high in fact, the boys at LNT are refusing to do much predicting on what they think things are going to be like until they get a few weeks to feel out the new show. So until then, they thought you’d get a kick out of all these funny comments, ALL REAL, culled from the internets about the last week of Leno on The Tonight Show.

“Monday is the day all the old folks say “Who the hell is that guy?!”"

“I’ve never watched Conan, so I can’t comment much on him, other than to say that he can only be an improvement from Leno. I don’t understand why Leno deserves another show, since his only funny bit (Headlines) could easily be done by a monkey trained to hold up a different card every 30 seconds.”

“What is Jay’s show suppose to be? Is it basically another tonight show? If it is, that’s just lame. I assume it’s another talk-show-style show where he does his little skits and then interviews people. If it is, I will not be watching.”

“So glad Leno’s sticking around. I’ve never liked Conan, though I’m intrigued by Jimmy Fallon taking his place.”

“Watched Leno’s last show last night and his recap of the last 17 years was a perfect reminder of why I’m not going to miss him on the Tonight show. When Conan walked on stage to his old theme song I almost got a tear in my eye because it underlined how much I’ve missed his show these last few months. I loved the clip they showed of Conan coming on the Tonight Show in 1993 right after he was hired for Late Night, he looked like a kid even though he was 30. I’m also looking forward to the focus group bit that Conan is going to show next week where he is disguised as “Stan Wexler” and shows a group of older people clips of his show to gauge their response.”

“I don’t normally watch late night talk shows, but I did watch the final episode of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as host. Is there anyone else that watched this? Does anyone care? I can’t remember a finale that got less hype than this.”

“i’ve never been a fan of Conan. i absolutly LOVE lenno, i’m glad they are keeping him around. i am glad they are moving lenno too earlier in the evening, means i can watch him w/out staying up late and loosing sleep!”

“Now I can get some sleep with his show at 10. I just don’t get Conan’s sense of humor.”

Hmm, a pretty wide array of feelings. Sure is an interesting time to write a column about talk shows. LNT - sure is an interesting time to be reading a column about talks shows too!

Now go read the LNT ARCHIVES!!