Week 86! (that can’t be right…)

Venture Time!

All right, so the show doesn’t actually come back until October 18th but our Fall TV roundup is already out of steam. We didn’t even have enough shows to talk about two weeks in a row. (Last week we wrote up Cougartown for God’s sake!) So, why not cut to the chase and talk about the shows we really care about.

So many questions! What’s 21 going to do? Who actually blew up H.E.L.P.R? What is Brock going to do now? Is he even going to be on the show anymore? Without Brock and the clones, how are the boys going to stay alive? Bill Hader is taking over as the voice of Dr. Richard Impossible? How awesome is that? Now that Rusty, Impossible, and Hatred are single, are we going to get to see them out trying to find ladies? Is Hatred really going to work for O.S.I. now? Is he the new bodyguard? (He seems to hate the Monarch, so it would make sense.) Is the ORB ever going to do anything? What (or who) killed Dr. Thaddeus Venture? We’ve never actually seen the body, have we? Could he really be trapped in some lair somewhere? How great would it be if Rusty actually grew up (we saw hints of this with the ORB) and got something right in saving his dad, only to find all that insecurity again when that relationship started back up? When do we get a Truckules episode? And, most importantly, what of the nozzle?

Oh, and did we fail to mention that Jackson Publick and James Urbaniak are going to be in studio on The Best Show on WFMU hosted by Tom Scharpling tomorrow, September 29th, 8-11EST? Two great things that will go great together. This is a big one, folks!

Now, on to the listings:

Monday:

• The Jay Leno Show - Bill Maher, Brad Paisley & Sheryl Crow
• The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien - Drew Barrymore, jockey Joe Talamo, Paramore
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Felicity Huffman, Dr. Mehmet Oz, the Avett Brothers
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon -David Duchovny, Kimbo Slice, Dirty Projectors
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Chris O’Donnell, Paula Poundstone
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Courteney Cox, Jessica Capshaw, Ashley Hamilton (R)
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Jesse Metcalfe, Caleb Aero, Metric (R)

STEPHAN: The original (and, quite frankly, lesser) Paula Small will be on Craiggers tonight. I know there’s no way they talk about a cartoon canceled five years ago(!), but I’m going to be watching just in case.

ERECH: Kimbo Slice is a thug, a ruffian, and not much more. But damnit, I’m mildly interested to see what he has to say for himself on Fallon tonight. I mean, it can’t be worse than that Conan outing, right? (although Paramore aren’t half bad.)

Twenty bucks says Dave spends the full eight minutes A. Taking a giant crap all over Dr. Oz B. Talking about how much he likes Oprah now. I don’t agree with the latter, not one bit, but I’m fully endorsing the former 150%. Screw that guy and his made up name!

Tuesday:

• The Jay Leno Show - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Billy Crystal
• The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien - Patton Oswalt, John Krasinski, Quinn Dahle
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Kelsey Grammer, Alyson Hannigan, Miranda Lambert
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Jude Law, Felicia Day, Sunny Day Real Estate
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - James Spader, Cobie Smulders, Laura Isobar
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Ricky Gervais, the latest “Dancing with the Stars castof, Alice in Chains
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Tucker Max, Naked Girls, Wild Light

ERECH: Jude Law would have to be planning to literally set himself on fire on Jimmy2 before I’d consider tuning in to see what he has to say for himself tonight. Wait, is he setting himself on fire tonight? Hell, even if he was, that Smell-O-Vision technology turned out to be a flop, and without the truthful aroma of his crisped flesh and sizzling coifed hair gels to sate my dislike, it’d be a waste anyways. What’m I, a monster? I don’t just want to see some guy burn to death, c’mon. Honestly though, we haven’t gotten rid of that guy yet? I thought America had spoken and we’d done away with him and his HEY LOOK HOW ATTRACTIVE I AM TO DISTRACT YOU FROM HOW I ONLY HAVE ONE ACTING TRICK thing he does. He was every single minutes of the worst parts of The Holiday, and that movie starred Cameron Diaz AND Jack Black (as a romantic lead no doubt) even. Yeah, I can admit Jude’s a decently handsome guy, even with that weird hairline, but he’s got no chops - sorry Sean. None at all. NONE. If Paul Giamatti looked even halfway like Jude Law does, he would have won 20 Oscars by now. Screw you and your obsession with looks, Hollywood.

Letterman has a bunch of tv actors on tonight, I wonder what went wrong with his talent wrangler to cause this? We all know I think Conan’s show stinks lately, but that grouping has me far more interested in NBC than CBS tonight for sure, not to mention fellow FOT Patton’s very first A-guest showing - congrats Mr. O’Swalt! (there’s no way Patton is going on before John Krasinski, but I can lie to myself and pretend it’s true, yeah?)

STEPHAN: Excited for my first Jay Leno Show experience. Sure, the show’s been on for weeks and weeks, but this is the first time they’ve got a guest that speaks to me. Yes, The New Adventures of Old Christine herself, Julia Louis-Dreyfus will be joining Jay for his new, already-classic Talk and Laugh With Celebrities segment. Folks, all we (and by “we,” I, of course, mean Julia and I) ask is that you just tune in to CBS every Wednesday at 8/7c to enjoy the time of your lives.

ERECH: Yeah, like Stephan and I are going to be doing anything besides listening to James Urbaniak and Jackson Publick LIVE in studio on The Best Show on WFMU tonight. 8-11pm EST, on WFMU.org. Tune in with the rest of us, and hear some Venture secrets too! (did we over mention this yet??)

Wednesday:

• The Jay Leno Show - Adam Carolla, Steve Carell, Vince Gill & Emmylou Harris
• The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien - Kate Walsh, Brad Paisley
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Madonna, Harry Connick Jr.
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Dennis Hopper, Amy Brenneman, Owen Benjamin
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Jenna Elfman, Dom Irrera
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Rebecca Romijn, Joseph Fiennes, Alice in Chains
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Chris Pratt, Ted Ligety, the Like

STEPHAN: I wonder how Carolla will manage to work his pro-torture agenda into the Leno appearance? Perhaps whilst racing electric cars he can make torture quips? One can only hope. Also, two days of Alice in Chains? That would have been stupid in 1993.

ERECH: Craiggers must have finally perfected that flux capacitor prototype, judging from that list of participants. I heard Dom Irrera died in a cocaine related boating accident last year. How then could he possibly be on tonight?? And Jenna Elfman? Well I haven’t seen her since 2 Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place was cancelled like a friggin’ decade ago, but good on her for finally getting her career back on track! TV is a weird place to live, and I’m glad I don’t.

Ok, now I’m really scared. Alice in Chains? Wait, did I actually fall into some Star Trek black hole/time tunnel/vulcan mindsomething something? What’s going on here? Next thing you’re going to tell me is Lyle Alzado’s co-hosting this years ESPY’s - MADNESS!

Thursday:

• The Jay Leno Show - Chris Rock
• The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien - Michael Moore
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Woody Harrelson, Kim Kardashian, Tom Russell
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Ryan Reynolds, Emma Stone, Miranda Lambert
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Patricia Arquette, Dominic Cooper
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Hayden Panettiere, Matthew Rhys, Joss Stone
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Jennifer Morrison, Zane Lamprey, Arctic Monkeys

ERECH: Is Patricia Arquette the one with all the crap in her face or the one what looks like a creepy bloated sexdollie? Neither answer will get me to tune in to that Craiggers, but I figure I should know these things since I’m on the internet and everything.

Are we excited for Zombieland? I’m not sure what the consensus is on that one around here yet. I can say I’m not against it, like I usually am with most movies I see trailers for. Or Sandra Bullock’s current face (…speaking of zombies, right?). Hey remember when Meg Ryan went and done screwed up her face for no reason too? Hey, have I said I hate Hollywood anytime recently?

STEPHAN: Dave really loves him some stupid reality show people. Oh, well, at least Patricia Arquette and her rack are on Craiggers tonight. 10 minutes of gloriously incoherent flirting from Ferguson is really the perfect way to end a day.

Friday:

• The Jay Leno Show - Jenna Fischer
• The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien - Joshua Bell with Tiempo Libre
• The Late Show with David Letterman - Larry David
• Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Drew Barrymore, Tim Schafer
• The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - Tim Gunn, Cathy Ladman, Lynyrd Skynyrd
• Jimmy Kimmel Live - Woody Harrelson, Shinedown
• Last Call with Carson Daly - Emmanuelle Chriqui

STEPHAN: Is the Tim Schafer on Fallon tonight the guy that used to write all those great LucasArts games? If so, then that’s probably not worst lineup. Otherwise, Drew Barrymore, who is normally harmless (or even a positive on Letterman), interacting with Fallon makes this a lock for worst lineup of the week. That interview is going to be more insufferable than even anything Carson can dredge up. Ah, that’s not true, if we were still pretending Last Call was a real show, Tucker Max and Carson is clearly the new Bottom of the Barrel (this should be said dramatically with lots of reverb, like the Zoo Krew would do).

ERECH: I wonder if @Scharpling is going to Tivo that Letterman? Nothing is more frustrating to me as a mass consumer of filmed entertainment than going from absolutely loving something without reservation, to the other minute not giving a single crap about it at all. Especially when I can’t put my finger on what exactly caused the lack of interest to occur. I can’t say Curb has changed drastically in style or substance from now to when it first aired. The writing is essentially the same, and the cast has remained as well. Still, I’d be so hard-pressed to check that show out at this point, especially considering how many other shows are out there vying for my love. Stuff like Party Down, 30 Rock, Peep Show, Sunny in Philadelphia, Breaking Bad, Community, and even Modern Family (”Lily…Is that going to be a little hard for her to say?”) too. And mind you, this is coming from a guy who owns seasons 1-5 of Curb your Enthusiasm bought sight unseen! Sorry Larry David, I think you’ve made your way to the bottom of the heap, and I really don’t know why either.

I don’t have a lot of nice things to say about famous people this week, so I’ll end my half of LNT tonight with a little niceness with no agenda. Remember when the news that Jenna Fischer broke her back popped up a few years back? I was really glad when it turned out she was going to be fine. Look, it’s no secret that I’m not that big of a fan of the American Office, despite the occasional charm. That said, I still think Fischer does a great job on the show, and also seems to be a genuinely nice and decent person, and it would have been a shame had something awful happened to her I thought.

And LNT would like to wish Ms. Fischer a speedy recovery and the best in her future acting endeavors. It’s not every week that Late Night Thing ends on such a positive note, so we’re going to put a stop to that, right here, and right now.

Thanks to a little help from our Friends of Tom, the Thing is going to check in and see what the first 3 weeks of The Jay Leno Show has done for them. Enjoy!

Pastor Josh wrote:

Wait, so this show is for real? I had just assumed it was a War of the Worlds-style media hoax.

Gilly wrote:

I didn’t realize it wasn’t a talk show until last night.

Kiemzi wrote:

Bad.

Matt wrote:

THIS is the seating arrangement they came up with? Jeepers. Those chairs look really uncomfortable, too. And they’re so close together! And each person gets their own separate table? Way to rub your money in everyone’s faces a little more, Jay. That Cash for Clunkers joke didn’t make me hate you enough

Matt also wrote:

Wow, this is completely different from THE TONIGHT SHOW!

And there you have it. The word on the street, she ain’t good. We’re still less than a month in though, and assuming Leno and staff take a few notes from our rundown last week and get the show fixed, it could turn itself around. There is still hope!

LNT - no, it’s a lost cause, there really is no hope at all. Not even a little.

Get caught up with all the LNT ARCHIVES, newb!